Marcus Meltdown is back with yet another book that will make you spit out your late evening tipple and most likely encourage you to slap your least favourite relative just for the hell of it.

IF ONLY I COULD FUCKING CHOKE YOU OUT is full of sentiment (yuck!), semi-erect cocks, vitriol, confusion, dog shit, night-club shenanigans, arguments and situations Marcus finds himself somehow being pitted within and coping with…kind of.

"Who would have thought that a book with such a title could be so hilarious, thought provoking and poignant in its depiction of the crumbling 21st century consensus on family, society and animals? Once again, Marcus articulates his perspective in such a manner that it makes Sleaford Mods sound like Simon and Garfunkel." - (Christopher Owens, Writer for The Pensive Quill)

"Marcus types it how it is. Simple. Done. Dusted. Fact. That's all. Don't like it? Then why don't you f*ck off onto yer social media account and try and cancel him. But, trust me, it won't shut him up and braver men have tried. Marcus Meltdown types it how it is. He is honest, brash, bold, funny-as-fuck and 110% real" -

(Trevor W.  Norrington, Author of WORDS MAKE NO SENSE)